Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
