Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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