yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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