This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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