ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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