Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize