She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize