you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
