Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
