I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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