hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
