dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
