so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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