When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
