u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just had sex on a roof
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
