do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
