He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
