You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
