I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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