my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
