the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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