i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
