i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
