i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
