So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
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