dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
