you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Will exercising make me less horny?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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