I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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