They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize