WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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