i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
