At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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