ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My life is pants optional.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
