mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize