I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
