Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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