My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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