I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
