I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
