A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
