so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
my poor anus
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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