Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
