tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize