i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
