If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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