That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
