Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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