Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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