sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
