Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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