Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
