so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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