Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
