Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
