Just fell off a train. Bad.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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