I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
