perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
