1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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